Unexpected caller {Li, Cas}

[ZZZ - Dean - RETIRED]

It was early morning when Dean woke again, a slightly less dramtic stir from sleep than in the middle of the night. He wasn't sure why he'd woken this time, though when he glanced over to find Sam's bed empty, the sheets haphazardly thrown back to one side, he guessed that maybe that had something to do with it. He spotted a note on the bedside table written in Sam's messy scrawl that simply said 'gone for food, back soon' and Dean relaxed again.

Both brothers had a kind of natural symbiosis, a sense of each other in a room, they both knew what the other was thinking just from a look. They were brothers, as close as family could be, they knew each other inside and out.

Or at least that was how it used to be. Things had become strained lately. After Hell. Sam had moved on for four moths without Dean, had gotten used to not relying on him anymore and now that Dean was back in Sam's life, he felt somewhat lost, unsure of his place in the world.

Once over he'd been John Winchester's son. His proud little soldier, the kid that looked up to his father and didn't question his orders. But John had died a long time ago and there was no-one there anymore to tell Dean what it was he was supposed to do. But that was okay, he could deal with that because he still had Sam to watch out for. But then Sam grew up while he was off getting toyed with in the pit and now Dean felt a little bit useless. Like he was suddenly the burden, the guy who couldn't keep up. Of course he never said that, he kept up his act, goofed around and pretended his wasn't broken on the inside.

Too bad the cracks were starting to show.

Perhaps then all that would explain why he was growing fond of having Annali so close to him. Someone who couldn't leave him, that was, in a twisted sort of way, relying on him to look out for her. A person who didn't know all his dirty little secrets, who saw him how Dean wanted people to see him. Strong and confident.

He rolled over in bed, took a long moment to watch her lying beside him, looking for all the world like how Dean thought angels should look. Innocent and gentle. Not cold and callous. Not threatening.

Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or we hurl him back to damnation....

The icy chill he'd felt upon hearing the angel's unltimatum the first time returned, the fear that they could send him back to Hell at a moment's notice if he didn't do what they wanted had turned his blood cold. He sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees, rubbed a hand over the rumpled shirt he was wearing, scratching at a phantom itch on his shoulder where Castiel's handprint still scarred him as he debated getting out of bed.

[The Preceptor]

The second night of sharing a bed with Dean Winchester had gone much more smoothly than the first, at least for Annali. By that evening, they had started getting used to the curse... getting more in tune with how the other liked to do things and much better with communicating. Bathroom trips were still rather awkward and painful because Annali still refused to leave the door open. It was just too personal and embarrassing to share with him.

The only issue this night that she didn't have the night previous was the horridly uncomfortable bed. She was quite sure that the mattress was twenty years old at least, springs jabbing her in her side and thighs, and the whole thing seemed to dip in the middle so that she couldn't have helped sleeping right up against him if she had tried. Though, admittedly, she wasn't really trying TOO hard... she felt safe with Dean. Not just a simple 'there's a man here with me' safe. It was something she didn't understand, but she felt untouchable with him there, likely because she looked at him and his brother Sam as heroes, and she felt a bit insignificant in their presence.

The first morning light was starting to come in through the window and Annali was vaguely aware of it, though her body refused to oblige the sun's pleas for her to start her day. She was just not ready to fully awaken just yet. Instead she moved a bit closer to the warm body that lay next to her, snuggling up into his side with a soft sigh, "Mmm... Dean..." she whispered in her sleep.

[ZZZ - Dean - RETIRED]

Dean was halfway into rubbing his hand over his face, the slow, steady sweep of his features than was like a subconscious way of wiping clear the dreams he might or might not have had, when he heard and felt Li moving next to him. Naturally he glanced in her direction to see if she was awake but it was the sleepy mutterings she had come out with that made him really start to pay attention.

Mmm...Dean? What are you dreaming about? He wondered, a curious but amused smirk on his face as he slowly lay back down on his side with his head resting on his hand, elbow bent and leaning on the pillow, to listen and see if she had anything else to say about him.

[The Preceptor]

At some point during the night, the covers had gotten pulled halfway up Annali's legs, likely due to Dean's thrashing about because of his nightmares. The motel room had very few good points to it, but one thing it did have was an air conditioning unit that worked well... maybe a bit TOO well. In any case, by now her feet were freezing, and as she snuggled her body against Dean, she brought her icy feet in and pressed them against his, letting out a content sigh. "So warm..." she murmured. Her hand had, in the process of curling up to him for heat, pushed the hem of his shirt up slightly, and now her hand rested dangerously low on his belly.

She was starting to become more aware of her surroundings, but still not aware enough to want to change anything. Some way, somehow, she was comfortable. She simply laid there listening to the sound of Dean's breathing... and the early morning traffic out on the street... and occasional passersby outside their room. This was definitely a different life than what she was used to. She missed her clean, perfectly kept home but she was still thrilled to be on this trip with them, wherever it lead.

[ZZZ - Dean - RETIRED]

"So cold!" Dean yelped quietly when Annali's fridgid toes made contact with his own. He pulled his feet away from her but her's followed, like a magnet for the warmth. When she sighed and curled closer to him, he stopped moving, noticing with some surprise that she now had a hand laid on him in a place that was making him feel much warmer all of a sudden.

Eyebrows raised and moral dilema posed in his head, Dean looked down at her hand on his stomach and debated whether or not letting her carry on groping him in her half awake slumber was a good or a bad idea. Whilst he didn't mind it one little bit, he got the impression that had she been fully alert, she would be highly embarrassed about now and taking advantage of her like this just wasn't Dean's style.

Gently, he took her wandering hand in his and moved it a little further north of the border, unwilling to lose the contact completely and he wondered if that was something to do with their curse or if he was just growing a little to attached to her naturally.

Stop it Dean. Don't go falling for her because you know it won't work out. You'll end up leaving like you always do. Being happy is not your life. It didn't work with Cassie. It couldn't work with Lisa and Ben. You know it's true and in the end she deserves better than a guy like you.

So try and pretend like you're not falling for her. You're good at lying...

Rather sadly now, Dean gave her hand a little squeeze and returned it to her side of the bed.

"I'll be right back." He whispered, unsure whether or not she would hear him. As he got out of bed and shuffled tiredly to the bathroom a couple of feet away, he noticed Li's feet sticking out of the bottom of the sheets and without thinking he stopped to pull the covers down over them so that her feet could warm up again.

[The Preceptor]

The moment Dean vacated the bed, Annali moved to his side of it. She wrapped her arms around his pillow and pulled it to her chest, snuggling it like a child would a teddy bear. A faint smile crossed her face when she felt him pull the blankets over her feet. She muttered a barely audible 'thank you', her eyes fluttering open just in time to watch him disappear into the bathroom.

Annali let out a soft sigh as she stared at the bathroom door. It was cracked open so that he still had a bit of privacy, but she couldn't see anything. She felt that familiar tug on her heart, like this curse wanted her to roll out of bed and follow him. It would be difficult to explain to someone who wasn't experiencing it, but it was as though she missed him. But she was honestly wondering if missing Dean was just about the curse anymore.

She knew that the curse affected them physically. They had experienced plenty of painful reminders of that over the past couple of days. And she knew that the mild heartache she felt right now just due to him being out of sight... well, that might be because of the curse as well. But was the curse responsible for how she felt when they WERE together? She had never met anyone so fascinating in her life. Never anyone who made her want to stay awake all night talking to him... or just... looking at him. Dean made her want to hold on to every single moment. That had to be real, right...?

With a sigh, Annali smiled softly to herself as she waited for him to rejoin her, all the while wondering if he just might be the one she had been waiting for.

[ZZZ - Dean - RETIRED]

When it came to trips to the bathroom, Dean wasn't nearly as shy as Annali and he had no problem leaving the door open at all, but to spare her blushes he'd fallen into the habit of closing it halfway which spared them the agony of being split up but gave him just enough privacy to take care of business. It also meant she couldn't see him when he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. The perpertual haunted expression in his eyes as he judged his own reflection. The verdict always the same.

Guilty.

It was only when he was alone that Dean allowed himself to truely expose his broken soul. A soul that still mourned the loss of the part of him that was left back in the pit. A part of him that had been cruely ripped away. Since being cursed, that alone time had been hard to come by and now that he finally had some, it felt kind of overwhelming.

He'd have liked to blame the curse for the ache in his heart but it wasn't the sole reason for his pain. It was shame at having done things he would forever regret. Shame over his weakness.

Flashes of Hell appeared in front of his eyes, made him grip the sink to stay standing as screams echoed in his ears. He knew they'd come and perhaps that was why he put himself in this position. Like experiencing it again was his punishment. God knew he deserved to be punished.

[The Preceptor]

Dean was taking a bit longer than she originally expected, especially considering she had already heard the toilet flush and water running in the sink afterwards. She didn't want to be nosey or to interrupt him, after all, he was likely just enjoying a few minutes of alone time really, but it was the first few minutes of the morning and that meant she was starting to need the bathroom herself. Her bladder needs weren't exactly at a critical stage just yet, but it was only a matter of time.

She sat up on the side of the bed and went to put his pillow back into place, but when she did she noticed the whiskey bottle that had ended up wedged partially between the mattress and headboard. Puzzled, Annali reached over and grabbed it, looking at it for a minute as she came to her own conclusions in her mind. She recalled the previous night at her own house when Dean had woken up to a horrible nightmare, and the look on his face when Sam had brought him a Sprite when he asked for a drink. She frowned as she thought of it, her eyes moving from the bottle to the partially open bathroom door. She didn't know what to do. It wasn't her place to get involved but, bottom line, she cared about him. If Dean had a drinking problem, doing nothing would be much worse than trying to talk to him about it, even if it meant he would be angry with her for butting in.

She approached the bathroom door cautiously, the bottle in her hand, her stomach tied up in knots. If this made Dean angry, it was going to make this curse extremely difficult to live with. She only hoped that he would be able to see why she was even bringing it up, and that he wouldn't be too upset with her for it. Gently she knocked on the door frame. "Dean?" she asked timidly, and then, through the open door, she caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror. Her eyes widened as she saw that same horrified look on his face... the expression of heartbreak and self-anguish.

"Dean?" she said, a bit louder this time, and after making a quick sweeping gaze of him, she swung the door open fully now that she was sure he was completely dressed. She reached out and touched his shoulder, hoping to bring him out of his daze and back to the real world again. "Dean!"

[ZZZ - Dean - RETIRED]

Dean hadn't heard Annali's approach, lost in thought and disturbed by memories as he stared at himself in the mirror.

Blood. Screams. Pain. Torture.

"Dean?"

Loneliness. Weakness. Failure.

"Dean!"

Her hand on his shoulder snapped him out of it and made him flinch, turning to face her with a raw look of emotion on his face. It only lasted a second, covered up by the mask he wore every day, the one that delflected the probing questions about his state of mind or just how 'fine' he really was.

"Li." He breathed, prising his grip form the sink so that he could swipe one hand over his face and pretend he simply hadn't heard her because he was tired.

"Everything okay?" Even as he asked, he saw the half empty bottle in her hands, suspected what she was going to say, completely unprepared for how he could explain it.

[The Preceptor]

For one brief instant, Annali could see the turmoil in his eyes, and it made her heart break. Her blue eyes glistened as she looked at him worriedly, watching as he glanced down to the bottle in her hand. Her mouth fell open slightly as she struggled to find the right words for the situation but found herself at a complete loss. She was too afraid of upsetting him further.

"Uh, I..." she stammered, glancing from Dean's handsome face down to the bottle that hung limply from her grip. "I... I was just..."

She bit her lip and closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her strength to speak. She had to remind herself that, if she cared about Dean, she needed to say something. And there was no doubt that she cared about him, curse or no curse. She took a deep breath and looked up at him, meeting his gaze and swallowing hard. "Dean, I don't want to... I mean I know it's not my place but... I just..." Again she looked down to the bottle and then back up to him. "It's just that I'm really worried about you..."

[ZZZ - Dean - RETIRED]

Li was worried about him? Dean couldn't quite figure out why she would concern herself with Dean's problems but from the look in her eyes he knew he should at least give her some explanation before she just wrote him off as a closet alcoholic. Sam had been right the night before when he said she would find out eventually.

"It's complicated." He replied, voice weary, almost ashamed as he reached over and took the bottle from her. For a moment he stared at it, considered the temptation to drink what remained but then set it down on the side of the sink. When he shifted his gaze up to her again, she still looked like she needed to understand and that made hiim sigh.

"I have nightmares."

Really, genius? I think she already knows that after what happened the first night.

"Some stuff happened last year..." His voice trailed away, glanced back at the bottle and then off into middle distance. Shoulders bowing a little as his shrugged and admitted a small part of his weakness.

"It just helps me sleep, that's all."

[The Preceptor]

Annali frowned. Dean hadn't exactly jumped down her throat for intruding on his personal business like she thought he might, but he was sort of brushing off the situation. She figured it was a better reaction than she had anticipated but it made it difficult for her to continue the subject. Gently she took Dean's arm, leading them over to sit down on the bed, and then she sat down beside him, the mattress sagging beneath her 120 pound frame.

She stared for a moment at her own feet, her small hands fidgeting nervously in her lap. "I know that it might seem like a good idea at the time but..." She closed her eyes a moment, trying to force herself to relax. She didn't want Dean to feel as though an ultimatum were being forced on him, or like she were accusing him of anything. "I don't know," she said, swallowing hard and looking up to meet his eyes. "I mean, you don't have to go through it alone. I just... I mean... I know we haven't known each other long but..." With a sigh she tore her gaze away, too embarrassed to say anything further.

[ZZZ - Dean - RETIRED]

With a puzzled look, Dean allowed Annali to lead him back into the main part of the room and sat down when she did the same, hearing the creaky bed springs groan as he did so. He waited patiently for her to say whatever it was that was evidently on her mind, but scrunched his face up into an uncomfortable wince when the subject in question turned out to be him.

Dean had never been a big fan of putting himself under the microscope or dealing with his own feelings. Sure he liked to be the life of the party at a bar, surrounded by pretty girls, none of which would ever really know him, so it was fine to act big and be the centre of attention, but when it really came down to it, he was a man with little self worth. Bringing his personal issues to the forefront only made him want to hide further under his masks.

"I know that it might seem like a good idea at the time but..."

It's a very good idea at the time, trust me. Getting wasted is a hell of a lot better than feeling what I feel every damn day....

"Li..." He started trying to object the moment he figured out she was doing her level best to give him the whole alcoholic's annonymous spiel but she persevered until her nerves got the better of her.

"I'm gonna stop you there, okay?" He said softly as her voice trailed off, putting his hand on top of hers in a halting gesture.

"It's nice that you think you should try and intervene or whatever you'd call it, but I'm okay. Really. I got it under control." A blatant lie, but one he felt he had to say to stop her from getting too close to the truth. Whether she believed him or not was another matter.

[The Preceptor]

Annali looked up into his eyes and bit her lip, innocent blue eyes glistening as she nodded. It didn't take a genius to realize that he wasn't telling the truth, but the last thing she wanted was to push him away by being aggressive about it. Quite obviously the subject wasn't open for discussion as far as Dean was concerned. She had laid the offer out on the table and he had rejected it. There wasn't really anything else that she could do on the matter.

She pulled her hand out from under his and stood up, going over to retrieve her small suitcase. She was quite upset by her failed attempt to get him to open up a little and needed a bit of a distraction. "I'm just going to take a shower," she said weakly as she set the suitcase on top of the bed, unzipped it, and opened it up. Her clothes were neatly folded inside, arranged into outfits, including color-coordinated underwear sets with each one. She shifted carefully through the clothes until she pulled out a small pile, and then she closed the suitcase lid, leaving it unzipped for now.

She didn't even look at him as she disappeared into the bathroom, leaving the door cracked as he had earlier. The sound of the shower curtain being drawn back could be heard a moment later, followed by the sound of the running water.

[ZZZ - Dean - RETIRED]

Dean let out a long, weary breath as Annali practically ran away into the bathroom to escape him. He could see that she felt a little awkward for having brought up the matter, only to have Dean tell her she needn't have bothered.

Nice work Dean. Why don't you go and kick some kittens too?

Now would have been a really good time to sneak a shot of whiskey but as luck would have it, he'd left the bottle in the bathroom beside the sink. Perhaps Li was pouring out the contents right now, saving Dean from himself in a more direct way instead.

Wonderful. Just keeps getting better and better...

Flopping back on the bed, Dean closed his eyes and wondered if Sam had put Li up to the pep talk. He knew his brother was concerned about the drinking, but Sam also knew why he had taken to drowning himself in alcohol. Surely now that he had the facts he would just let it go and accept that Dean needed the coping mechanism that a bottle of Jack offered him?

But then again, Sam was a sneaky son of a bitch when he wanted to be. He'd proved that with the numerous unexplained trips out in the middle of the night and Dean wouldn't put it past him to enlist Li's help to try and talk Dean into opening up about his personal demons. Of course there was no real logic in that, Sam hadn't had chance to talk to Annali without Dean being present, so how could he have asked her to use her feminine wiles on him, unless Dean had been asleep at the time.

Hearing Annali getting in the shower and pulling the curtain across, Dean anticipated the heartache tugging him closer to her and was about to get up off the bed to go sit closer to the door when he spied something pink and silky poking out of the edge of her suitcase. Curiousity got the better of him and after a cautious glance at both doors in the room (he didn't want Sam to catch him poking his nose into Li's things any more than he wanted her to), he flipped open the already unzipped lid of the case and lifted up the silky panties with one finger. His face immediately brightened up with a surprised grin.

Well hellllloooo Miss MacPherson! Don't you just have sexy taste in lingerie....