Welcome to SU: Legacy, a next-gen Supernatural RP that takes place in the year 2040. The Men of Letters has expanded to include three base locations across the continental US. Angels and demons have gone mostly dormant but there are still supernatural evils lurking in the shadows. The legacies could use your help. Are you in?
Giving credit where credit is due. A big thank you to all the coders at PBS and various resource sites for any codes, plug-ins and templates.
Thanks to Nick @ Fidelius for the fabulous mini-profile. Everything else was created by our own staff. If we missed someone please let us know.
We don't own Supernatural, we just enjoy it's awesomeness. Thanks Eric Kripke for creating it, all the writers/producers for putting out a great show and the CW for keeping it on the air for almost 10 years now!
Sully froze. A mask of careful neutrality crossed her face. She was amazed she could do that so well. Inside she was sure her heart stopped beating for a full ten seconds. Water trickled down her spine, or maybe it was sweat. Her entire body felt tense, rigid, as she tried to absorb the words Adam had just spoken.
There had to be more to the story. An entire family of what? Maybe some twisted vamp had turned a woman and had two vamp kids. Creepy, but it wasn’t like you grew into being a vampire. If you were bit you were turned. A family of werewolves? Dysfunctional, but again possible. He couldn’t mean he killed a family of humans.
"It was supposed to be a hunt, Rugarus. I messed up, I got a call in after it was done that we were wrongly tipped off. I shouldn't have-- I shouldn't have tried-- I--"
Fucking Christ! This was bad. In a million horrible ways bad. No wonder the kid was losing his mind. He had killed a family of humans. Mother, father…children. Somehow she managed to keep the mask on her face, but everything Adam was feeling was coming through loud and clear. He was in agony.
What he had done was unthinkable. It was grotesque. Something in Sully recoiled at the thought. It had been bad information. It wasn’t Adam’s fault he had been duped, but you don’t go off other people’s information. You do your own research. You get your own evidence. You do your own leg work so that this doesn’t happen.
When Adam slumped forward Sully made no move to aid him. He needed to feel this. Adam was still in so many ways a novice. As hunters if they made mistakes people got killed. This time Adam had done the killing. This was something he was going to have to live with for the rest of his life.
Sully’s thoughts went to the man on the side of the road. Man. Not thing. Not rugaru. Just a man. A man who had a family. They were all dead now and there was nothing Sully could do about that. This was so far out of her league that Sully honestly had no idea what to say. So they stood there in silence.
“Who gave you the information?” She asked at last. Sully was beyond pissed. There was so much infinitely wrong at this situation. A dead family, a traumatized young hunter. Why? Because someone fucked up. Someone fucked up bad. That someone needed to answer. Sully wanted to know where they got their information from. Then she wanted to choke them with it.
He couldn't even think of the reason why he decided to take on the worst possible game one could think of, it's not even the level of difficulty it was just the emotional sacrifice one would have to make when handling such a sensitive case. Thing was, Adam prepared himself for it and when he drew short of them being human he was caught off guard. Instead of euthinizing he committed mass murder. Fact remains the same that not everything about Rugarus is explicitly explained by other Hunters, perhaps it's the shame they feel but it's that feeling of dread they pass on. Vicious is the cycle. How can one effectively deal with them without crossing that line? You can't? Though this wasn't a hunt, as previously stated this was a murder.
He couldn't quite see Sully's face, his own was slouched into the foot of the bed. His arms keeping him on both feet as he felt his body stagger forwards just wanting to collapse, his stomach sunk seemingly weighing him down. His throat became knotted, and the sweat trickling down the back of his neck was cold. Every sensation, specifically sound and smell felt enhanced at that moment. He could hear the shuffling of his feet in the carpet as he tries to keep himself steady, could smell every fragrance used to clean the comforter of the bed. Could smell the rain, Sully, the weird anti-freeze smell from the empty mini-fridge beside the t.v. He could hear Sully's breathing, and than finally her voice.
“Who gave you the information?” He couldn't distinguish a tone, but it would be the million dollar question wouldn't it? Fact is Adam knew it, but he wasn't about to tell her. Why? Perhaps deep down Adam knew why, but he wasn't going to explicitly come out and tell her. They would pay dearly for their mistake, their intel caused more than one person their lives tonight. Knowing full well that they were both in a deep and dark situation, the least one could do was distinguishably identify the mark. Was that too much to ask?
He continued to remain silent as he turned over and laid on his back, his eyes visibly puffy but were not burdened with tears. He stared up at the ceiling, folding his hands he placed them on his wet chest. He'd still have to get up and get changed, if it was any consolation there was something he could occupy his mind with.
If there was anything that his candid state told was that he was guilt ridden however the underlining fact remained. There was something dark, festering beneath his being that only just begun to show it's face. If or not to hide it or embrace it for what it was still hung in a deciding balance for Adam, though as of right now all he wanted to do was hide from the world. Stay in his motel room with Sully until hell froze over, even if that meant partial kidnapping.
He began unbuttoning his shirt, fumbling as he cleared his throat and sat up, he hesitated and then stood up turning his back to her moving towards the bathroom as his initial goal had entailed.
Sully waited not so patiently in the thick, tense silence between her and Adam. She was fidgeting. Something she never used to do, unsure what to say. She was scared if she pressed him to hard he'd shut down completely. It was obvious Adam was in locked in the dark recess of his mind lost and in shock over what he'd done.
If the guy on the side of the road was anything to go by, this families death had not been pleasant. Their screams were probably full of horror, pain, and confusion. None of them, not one had known why Adam was doing what he did. One day they were camping and the next this seemingly psycho was torturing them to death. Literally.
What was she supposed to say to Adam to make him feel better about that? Oops you got bad information move on? That wasn't going to make the kid feel better. It damn sure wouldn't make Sully feel better. Only worse because she hadn't taken the time to do the research herself.
"I should go change."
Adam walked into the bathroom. Sully sighed wearily. She was ten ways out of her element here. While Adam was in the bathroom, she took the opportunity to change herself. She peeled off the soaked clothed, replacing them with dry jeans and a t-shirt.
Then, Sully promptly fell on the bed. This ordeal had zapped more of her energy than she liked. Forget the adrenaline and dealing with emo Adam. Dragging the body and hiding the back had been a lot of physical exertion. Sully realized she still needed to work on her stamina.
Pulling out her cellphone she scrolled through the short list of numbers there. She was still debating on calling Dean. He'd been the one to take care of her after all and Sully had been just another hunter. One he didn't really get a long with. Dean would be much better for Adam than Sully.
The knob on the bathroom door twisted and Sully pocketed her phone. Musings for another time. Rubbing her eyes, Sully sat up and looked at Adam.
When Adam closed the door, the moment there was a panel of wood separating him from her he felt infinitely alone. Silence rushed over him like a wave striking a shore as soon as the door and the strike plate met, the unison provided that click that sounded and reminded Adam just how alone he was in this. However, his own company provided insight that he normally wouldn't have received. His hands shook as he turned on the tap, washing both literal and metaphorical blood off his hands. He closed his eyes as the tap ran hot, then steaming, then near boiling. But the redness and the pain he felt on his hands was nothing to deter him. After a moment he pulled them from the running water, turning the tap off and then drying them on the towel, which he used in combination of a wet cloth to wipe his face clean of any indiscrepancies of the flesh.
After several moments of just blankly staring in the mirror, if not to make sure he got all the blood then to make sure he was still all there. Adam began slipping out of his clothes, already unbuttoned it wasn't hard slipping off his dress shirt, and peeling off the t-shirt underneath proved to be a bit of a challenge but nothing he couldn't handle. It just felt constraining, the fact that it was wet and clinging to his body didn't help. Slipping on a pair of non-wet boxers and a pair of semi-wet jeans. He hung up his clothing on the railing of the shower curtain to let it drip and dry in the bathtub.
Once finished, Adam turned the door knob once more hearing the door separate from the strike plate, he was relieved to see Sully on the other side. Why she was here he couldn't wrap his mind around. Perhaps he knew why she was here, and perhaps that's what bothered him the most.
"What do you need me to do?"
Raising his brow, he reached for the ring that sat upon his bare chest and gripped it a bit. Wedding band. An entirely different subject, and a story for another time. Her words sort of seemingly made Adam baffled, what did he need her to do? What did he want her to do? Part of him wanted her to leave, but another part wanted her to stay and would near die if she left.
Making his way over to his duffel bag he began rooting through it once more to try to find himself dry shirt, the one he did fine was a little soaked through near the bottom but it was dry enough. Slipping the plain white t over his head, he took another look at Sully still contemplating her words, or her offer, or whatever it was. If he knew what was needed in a time like this, he'd ask her, but nothing really came to him. Hollow as he felt, her words only created an echo with in Adam's mind.
There was something he still needed to do, something he still needed to finish. For his own benefit if anything, his eyes now lingering on the woman. He held that stare, until the moment he thought of what he wanted and spoke up.
"Could you," He took a step towards her, not breaking his gaze upon her. He looked down at her feet, tilting his head to the side. "Get me a coke from the vending machine by the office?" As to get what he needed Sully would have to be a little distracted.
Adam holding Sully's gaze was a bit unnerving. She shifted on the bed, not because she was afraid of him, but because of what she saw. The hollowness and despair in them. Adam was still shell shocked, that much was obvious. The thing of it was, Sully didn't know what to do about it.
Sully had avoided people for a reason. Mainly because she didn't know how to deal with emotions. Her forte' had always been in burying them. The good, the bad. All of it. Sully was good at playing the detached bitch who didn't give a shit about anyone including herself.
At least until recently.
Now she was just taking things one step at a time. She was trying not to let the emotions and the memories over run her. Nightmares had been something she was used to, but they had gone to a new level becoming more night terrors. Horrors even. Hopefully she would be able to stave all of that off until this situation was taken care of.
"Could you,"
Sully sucked in a slight breath. She didn't know what she was expecting him to say. Would he ask her to hold him? That would be awkward for her. It had been awkward enough on the road. Could she just put her arms around him if he asked? The truth was she didn't know.
Maybe he just wanted to talk. Sully was better at that, though she didn't know how much comfort she could offer. She didn't know how to coddle or make someone feel better about a situation. She blunt more often than not and she was still working on rebuilding the barrier between her brain and her mouth, a long with a lot of other walls.
Adam moved his gaze to her feet, his head tilting to the side. Sully was tense with anticipation. She would give Adam whatever he needed. At least she would to the best of her ability, even if it wasn't as good as if someone else were sitting here with him. Sully was completely inadequate for this job.
"Get me a coke from the vending machine by the office?"
Sully blinked and let out the breath slowly. Of everything she thought Adam was going to ask for, she never thought it would be so simple. Her brows furrowed in confusion. She imagined he probably was thirsty, but something seemed off about the request.
Then again, maybe she was just reading too much into things. Adam wanted a soda. Sully could do that. It was a simple request. Maybe it was his first step in pulling out of whatever darkness he was in. Maybe he needed something to hold onto.
Deciding to stop reading so much into things, Sully stood up. She reached into her duffel bag and pulled out some change.
"No problem."
Sully headed for the door and then stopped, turning to look at him again. "I'll be right back okay?"
She didn't want Adam to think she was going to take off. Maybe he didn't think that, but she didn't know exactly where he was mentally right now. His mind could be twisted and the second she walked out and Adam realized he was alone in the room, he might fall apart. Being alone was a dangerous thing sometimes.
Sully offered him a small smile, hoping that he would be all right for the few moments it would take her to walk to the end of the outside corridor and get him a coke. She let her gaze linger for a moment before wandering back into the rain.
When Sully departed Adam quickly got to work, the seemingly unstable young man filled with some form of unwavering and lucid coordination he began what seemed like suiting up for a hunt. He dotted the "I"s and crossed his "T"s, he rooted through his duffel revealing small hidden blades that would come in handy during getting what he needed out. It was the right thing to do after all, or at least that's how Adam saw it. It's what they deserved, it's what they all deserved. It's what Adam deserved, but he had a job to finish, and more to do. He couldn't die, not yet. Now now.
After snatching his phone up, he turned it on and began flicking through his contacts until he reached Gilbert Pattison. He hovered over it, before selecting the text function he began allowing his thumbs to do the talking and before he knew it he had a rather disturbing text.
"You screwed up. I screwed up. We need to pay, we can't out run death forever."
Upon hitting send, Adam looked over the room once over. Glancing at Sully's stuff his heart sank. She had gone out of her way to help him when he needed it the most, but why? Was it because they knew each other? Or was it because of her friendship with his brother? If she knew him at all would she have bothered helping, hell, if he wasn't Dean's younger bastard brother would she have lifted a finger? Was he doubting her? Perhaps he was, even though she has gone through all of this to keep him safe. Was he being ungrateful? Or just acknowledging the ugly truth, if it is indeed that.
If Adam left through the front he'd be spotted, he needed to find some form of way to leave undetected so he headed towards the bathroom. Upon getting ready to go out the small window, he was unfortunate enough to encounter one small obstacle. Bars.
Cursing after several futile attempts at prying the bars he decided to try the front door, if he's careful enough he can slip by undetected or at least dash before Sully even knew what was going on. Fast walking to the door he reached out to touch the handle when he found it turning and opening all on it's own. Blinking several times, Adam looked a bit taken aback as he took one step to the side to allow the door to open without striking him.
The overhang from the motel roof kept Sully dry from the pouring rain. Thunder rumbled angrily in the clouds. Lightning flashed washing out the angry shadows of the night for a moment.
Instinctively, Sully looked around, making sure nothing was hidden in those shadows as they receded. The last thing she needed was some monster to jump out of the darkness and she be unprepared.
Sully figured her nerves were working overtime. Her boots echoed on the concrete walk way as she approached the vending machine. The giant Coca Cola emblem flickered in and out. It buzzed against the howling of the wind. An unsettling feeling settled in Sully’s gut. There was nothing out there, but something wasn’t right.
Quickly she shoved the quarters into the vending machine. The machine whined and growled before dropping a cold coke can into the tray at the bottom. Sully grabbed it and turned on her heel. Her steps were quicker going back to the room. It wasn’t anything magical or supernatural. Just a feeling that she needed to get back in a hurry.
Maybe it was because of the look in Adam’s eyes. The look of despair and agony hat came with a life changing, traumatic event. It ate at Sully, seeing that look in his eyes. The last time she’d seen him he’d been a cocky little spit fire anxious to get his hunting boyscout badge. The fact was, this was a dramatic change and Sully wasn’t sure what Adam was capable of.
Not that she thought he’d hurt anyone. Sully figured Adam had enough of that at the moment, but he had taken the lives of a family. Mother, father, children. They were all dead by Adam’s hand. It didn’t matter if it had been a mistake. What was done was done. Sully was just worried Adam would tried to punish himself for it.
Sully twisted the knob to their room and stepped inside. Adam was next to the door which made Sully raise an eyebrow. Closing the door, Sully leaned against it and tossed Adam his coke. Then she crossed her arms over her chest. Adam was up to something.
"You know," He responded catching the coke in his hands, letting the cool aluminum surface roll across his fingers. It felt refreshing, it was nice and cold as opposed to warm and foreboding blood trickling down the crevices of his fingers. It was if the blood on his hands, the metaphorical blood, was being soothed into a distant memory as the dew from the can seeped in. "You look cute with your arms crossed over your chest like that." Attempting to disarm the attempt at leaving with some normalcy, even if that meant stooping as low as Dean.
Adam moved to the other side of the room, placing himself at the end of the bed he pulled out his phone and began cycling through it again. Peering back up at Sully he let out a sigh, even if he doubted her intentions in any capacity he supposed she deserved at least an explanation. Though no matter how much he explained it, wouldn't make anything better. Killing someone because they lead you to accidentally kill others doesn't justify the initial crime by your hands. But somehow, Adam sought peace in it. If or not Sully would understand that was over Adam's head.
"Gilbert Pattison is his name, he's a couple years older than me and is into that whole Italian club look. He's supposed to know what is what, so I trusted his intel without thinking twice about it.
Truth is, he knew the family which is why he told me about the situation. I didn't know much about Rugaru's but a monster is a monster. Either way, i'm doubting his intentions, and starting to think he knew all along. So I wanna kill him." He said the last bit nonchalantly, as if it were nothing but a mere and simple action of ending someones life although he is now fond of how difficult it is surviving such an ordeal. If he put himself through it again, he wasn't sure he would come back from it completely or at all there.
"He's in New Jersey, I figured it'd be a couple hour drive from here. I would have called," He winced a bit at that last bit, seemed like a likely excuse someone with a problem would make so he swallowed and shook his head. "No, I won't lie. I wouldn't have called, you already got me here and cleaned me up. Wouldn't want to reel your conscious around knowing you let me out of your sight only for me to end another life."
He stood up from the end of the bed and began pacing around. He seemed anxious, maybe because he was all revved up and no place to go with something he regrettably call an urge. Killing Gilbert would be nothing short of justice, but it would only further make that dark void in his chest bigger and his mind foggier. He isn't trying to shift the blame onto someone who merely passed off the wrong information for whatever gain they might have, he's only trying to see to it that all parties suffer. Adam is doing well enough on his own in that department but he deserves more than death can serve him. Not that he wouldn't begrudge anyone for delivering him that sentence.
Adam has very little in this world, if it taught him anything is that he needs to keep those things close and hold onto them for dear life. But those he holds close, need to be afar right now. As his hand enclosed over his phone, there was one woman who deserved to know where he was. What can't a best friend say in a situation like this? Best friends are always supposed to be on your side, but Adam doesn't want to subject her to siding with this, with him.
Sully was trying her best, he could see that. But he'd see to it that she would be the only one to find out about this ordeal. Not Dean, nor Sam, shall find out. God forbid if Ryanne did. The one thing on Adam's mind was not himself, but those around him who would suffer for his actions if he cared about them or not. One thing was certain in Adam's mind though, is that Gilbert Pattison must die.
"You look cute with your arms crossed over your chest like that."
Rolling her eyes Sully leaned against the door. Adam was up to something. That much was obvious. The question was what. Was he a danger to himself? Most likely. Was he a danger to others? Judging by the mutilated man Sully had left on the side of the highway, the answer was yes. It hadn't been intentional, but Adam wasn't the same Adam that Sully had met all those months ago. Just like she wasn't the same Sully.
"Deflection will get you no where." Flattery would have probably been a better term, except it wasn't flattery. Sully was still to thin, her cheeks and eyes hollow. Her rib bones stuck out at sharp angles and her stomach caved in. Adam was trying to deflect and change the subject not boost Sully's self esteem.
She kept a steady gaze on him, just waiting for Adam to say something.
Gilbert Pattison. The man responsible for all this. Who, from what it sounded like, set Adam up.
This situation was going from bad to worse. Pattison had used Adam to do his dirty work. Sighing Sully leaned against the door. Saying that was fucked was putting it mildly. Sully didn't blame Adam for wanting to kill him. Just because you were human didn't mean you couldn't be a monster. This Pattison guy sounded like he was pretty high up on the evil doers scale.
"There's several flaws in your plan, Adam." She said it calmly, her gaze still on him. "The first being that the only way for you to get to Jersey was to steal my truck." She shrugged lightly. "For that I would have had to kick your ass."
The truck may be old and half broke down, but it was hers and she loved it and if someone stole it there would be dyer consequences.
"Two, it's pouring outside and there's a dead body on the side of the road with your DNA all over it. The rain probably washed most of that away, but that needs to be taken care of at first light when the rain stops."
The last thing Adam needed was a record. She wasn't sure if he had the same contacts to get alias's and fake ID's. Sully could help him with that, but one step at a time.
"Three, more than likely this guy has figured out that you know what's going on. He obviously isn't stupid and went through a lot to set this elaborate plot of his up. Walking in there alone and without a plan is stupid. You go for blood, you're going to wind up swimming in your own."
Sully rubbed her face tiredly. "Right now, we need food, we need to sleep, and then tomorrow we'll take care of the situation. We'll bury the body and then, we'll come up with a plan to get this Pattinson guy." She tilted her head and had an afterthought.
"Killing him won't bring that family back." She knew Adam's need for vengeance. He had unwittingly committed horrible acts. "He's human just like they were, even if he is an evil bastard."
She held up a hand before Adam could say anything. "I know he deserves to die, but you killing him...it's only going to add to what you're feeling right now."
Adam stood there in silence as he felt berated for a plan he never even got to set in motion, the flaws, the stupidity in it all laid and fleshed out for him to see with the naked eye. He clenched his fists and averted his eyes from Sully. The fact of the matter was that she made sense, there wasn't anything Adam could think of that would be a clever retort, and he was forgetting about the body. At least, he was trying to. To be reminded of the task ahead was daunting, it made him sick to his stomach thinking about it.
Closing his eyes he continued to listen to Sully go on about how he'd only wind up ending in a pool of his own blood. What did she know? Adam was fully capable of taking care of himself, though one would guess now would not be an appropriate time to start pulling out examples as to how he is in light of the current circumstances.
He was surely being scolded, but he didn't very well like it. Then again, who does? He just felt like it was the next logical step, vengeance. He was in this situation because of his own stupidity and sloppiness. He was amateur enough as it was, to be away for so long to come back into the thick of it on a difficult hunt was moronic. However, all the same someone needed to pay and if he could he'd make sure he got his just deserts but there are one too many people depending on him that he couldn't just up and serve himself one because of a slip up. Big one mind you. Still.
Food, sleep. He wasn't sure he could actually do neither. He made his way to one of the beds and just sat down as everything sank in deeper. The murky waters of his brain were tangible right now, so letting things seep took a little more time. He was everywhere, from guilt and anger, to murderous thoughts that overtook him in a dire need to just get out and on with his life. Adam was not one to dwell, but he was rather fixated on the seriousness of the situation and his own mental health.
"I don't think I can eat, or sleep." He said finally staring blankly at the t.v. that emitted no funny or amusing moving pictures for him to watch. His head slowly turned to Sully as he eyed her up and down. Once upon a time he wouldn't have minded comfort of a sexual kind from Sully, but what solace would that bring him now of all times. A lot has changed, even more so for Adam this past night and god knows how much it has for Sully. The only comfort Adam seeks right now is more blood on his knife, the just deserts of someone worthy of a slow and painful death.
So what comfort could Sully bring that would equally satisfy the quench for blood vengeance? Her company enough, reasonable logic, it all seems to keep him at bay. He was having a melt down even if he was lucid during most of it, there were times in his mind he was frantic. Seeing things, like the girl crawling out of the blank television set. Someone he knew, someone he had killed. Twisting, turning, screaming. Adam held his ears but made no distinguishable facial expressions as to why he was doing it, he merely made eye contact with Sully again hoping it would soon go away.
Adam tried to remain stoic as Sully spoke. Shadows passed behind his eyes though. It took a lot of practice to keep the emotion from your eyes. Adam was young and had only come into true, dark, and violent tragedy in the last few years. He didn’t have the passive, neutral face down yet. Not in his eyes. That took years and even then something could come along to tear away the carefully molded wall you managed to put up. It was hell to rebuild it again.
Sully knew that Adam was only playing calm. He was doing a pretty good job at it too. There was a tightness in his jaw line though that gave him away. A strain at the corner of his eye that said his mind and emotions were realing from what had happened. There wasn’t much she could say to make this better. Adam had killed a person…people. Kids included. That made Sully’s chest ache. It was always hard for her when kids were involved. She had to imagine it was ten times worse for Adam. He may have killed them, but he had been the weapon. The Pattinson guy had pulled the trigger.
Stating that seemed moot though. Adam wasn’t going to believe it. This was very raw from him and no matter which way someone brushed up against the wound, even if she was only trying to treat it, to help with the infection, it was going to hurt like hell. It was going to take a lot of time and even then, she doubted this was something he would ever completely get over.
"I don't think I can eat, or sleep."
His stomach was probably in knots. Sully could understand that. She shrugged. “All right, well I need to eat.” Which was true. It was hard enough to eat a decent meal as it was. By decent Sully meant more than just a small portion. Her stomach had shrunk considerably. Being starved will do that to you.
Pulling out her cell phone Sully ordered a pizza, and offered an extra fifty bucks if the delivery guy picked up some beer on the way. She kept her gaze on Adam, knowing that he needed that right now. He needed something steady. Sully could give him that to a point. She’d help him as much as she could, but eventually she knew he was going to have to find a way to stand on his own again.
Besides was she really in any shape to help Adam out? She was a broken doll herself. A toy no one wanted to play with. She wasn’t sure she could or even knew how to put Adam together again. Sully had no idea how to start other than by being something solid he could look to. Something steady in the shaky foundation of his world.
Moving over Sully sat on the bed. She leaned against the headboard pulling her knees to her chest. They swayed back and forth and she kept her gaze on him. “They said thirty minutes or less, but it’ll probably be a bit longer since they’re getting us beer too.” She shrugged. “Since you’re not hungry I guess you don’t mind.”
Adam felt the hands, all of them as they wracked over his body in a horrid and surreal sensation that made him shiver down to his very core. He sat on the bed, listening to Sully speak of beer and pizza but at the same time he was haunted by now very real vivid hallucinations. They were coming from all sides, he felt as if he was being swallowed up by the very thought of him just being. It was hard to keep a cool composure around Sully, his face was nervously twitching as sweat began to trickle down the side. His hands moved from his ears to grip the bulk of denim surrounding his knees as he began slowly rocking as if impatient back and forth. How that would seem would be up to interpretation.
“They said thirty minutes or less, but it’ll probably be a bit longer since they’re getting us beer too. Since you’re not hungry I guess you don’t mind.” He looked at her, trying to feign a smile or at least show some resolve of being better than he was, but lucidity comes to those who deserve it. Part of him still wanted to go, part of him wanted her to go, part of him wanted her to hold him till the sun rose and so on and so forth. Conflict, that was his hallucination. Pulling of hands, the strings that wrapped around his body. He couldn't hear the thoughts in his own head without hearing the screams.
Shifting in his position on the bed, he began feeling or at least seeming uncomfortable at his current locale so he moved to the headboard next to Sully, almost mirroring her pose. He hugged his knees to his chest, allowing his face to fall on top pressed against the caps. He didn't want to see the motel around them melt into nothing but a horrid nightmare. Something that called out to him, various seductive voices telling him this and that. At the end of it all, there was no telling what they wanted him to do but to end his own life. Which he already knew wasn't going to happen. It was a curse after all.
"My mom," He finally spoke up, allowing his voice to be heard through all of the background noise in his mind. "It was always me and her, my dad was never around. Hunting I assume, with Sam and Dean while I stayed home wondering all hours of the night where he was. What he was doing. When I was going to see him again. It was all one big lie to keep me, I don't know. Safe? But we weren't, not at all." He seemed to be choking down some coming sobs, but his face was hidden at this point. He was just trying to make sure that his voice wasn't muffled by his jeans.
"I watched my mom get eaten alive, I didn't know what I was doing. I ended up grabbing silver cutlery to defend myself, and then I bashed their heads in with an aluminum bat. Ironically a gift from my dad, bought it for me after he took me to our first baseball game. After that, what was the next logical thing for me to do? Find more of these things and kill them, oh yeah. That was the sane thing to do." He seemed to be more closer to breaking than before, coming to terms with who he is than rather what he claims to be. He finally turned his head, looking at Sully from his horizontal view. Eyes welled up, puffy and red.
"I find brothers who were never there, not even here. I realize I have no family. She's my family. My mom. I'm Adam Milligan, not Adam Winchester. I just... If people come back from the dead, then my mom can too. I just...." He let out a sigh, he was going off topic. Whatever the topic was. Was it the fact that he just murdered a family of innocence? Or that he was slowly losing his sanity. Either way. This probably wasn't something Sully wanted dumped on her, however apologizing now seemed moot. He only fell into deeper silence as he buried his face back into his knees.
Sully's breath hitched as she listened to Adam's story. How horrifying had it been to watch his mom get eaten by ghouls? Sully's father had been murdered in front of her. He hadn't been eaten, but his entrails had been scattered across the wood floor of their house. She swallowed thickly, the smell of blood and bowels making their way up from some dark memory in her mind.
It made Sully's stomach tilt and she had to close her eyes, forcing the memory away with all her muster. Once upon a time it never would have leaked out. It never would have come to the front of her mind. It would have stayed buried in the dark depths of her mind in an vault that couldn't be breached.
Except the vault had been breached. It had been blown to bits, letting everything she had repressed and buried out with a howling shriek that left her mind in a reckless, frightening chaos. It was a category five hurricane in her head and there was no calm in site.
How was she supposed to help Adam when she was a mess herself? She hadn't tortured anyone, but she had been the tortured, in more ways than one. The fact was she realized she should have been more sympathetic towards the family. Why she wasn't, Sully didn't know. Right now her only concern was for Adam.
Adam, this young, novice hunter who had his entire world ripped out from him. He tried t build a new one, tried to emulate his father and brothers, only to feel rejected by them. Then he finds a hunter, who he apparently trusts, only to have that man use him as a weapon to take out a family. For whatever reasons, they didn't matter.
The family was dead. She couldn't do anymore for them. She wasn't sure she could do anything for Adam either, but looking at his read, puffy eyes, seeing the pain deep within his soul, Sully knew she couldn't turn away from him.
Not when she knew how alone he felt.
Sully got up off the bed and moved over to sit next to Adam. A few months ago she never would have done this, but she knew what it was like to be feel utterly and helplessly alone. If she could keep him from feeling that way, than she would. Tentatively she wrapped an arm around him, resting her head against his.
She sat there in silence for a long, pregnant moment. It wasn't exactly tension in the air, but something...something she couldn't quite describe. It was comfortable, yet awkward, at least to her, but then again, Sully wasn't used to affection. She hoped she was doing this right.
"I wish I could make things better for you." She sighed into his hair. "I do, but it doesn't work that way." Memories of the days following her three months imprisonment washed through her head. "It's hard not to feel alone when you have been for so long."
Sully rubbed his arm, unsure if that was the right thing to do. "I know I'm not the most well adjusted person, but this...you don't have to go through his alone."
Alone. It was an odd word, it was an even odder sensation to feel. Alone. Was Adam really alone? Or did he want to be alone? Or rather, did he want to subject himself to loneliness for the sake of being so? It was a hard thing to comprehend, but when Sully said he didn't have to do this alone, he was beginning to believe her. Which in his state of mind felt like an accomplishment to him. Despite everything, everyone he has seen or met in his travels was he actually alone? He wasn't with his brothers, with his supposed family but they weren't his family, they might be blood but they were never his family nor does he feel like they deserve the right to be such.
Adam knew who his family was, and he knew exactly who he needed to be turning to. It was people like Sully, who despite her odd friendship with his older brother which he despised only moments before. It was people that had gone out of their way despite their own troubles. If for kinship, sympathy, just to help out a fellow human being. That is family. The people who are there for you, and actually care. That is family. His mom was family, Ryanne, Sully, that hobo Brody, Corrine, that odd kid who's half angel, even he's family. They all are. Hell, despite Bela being evil she's more family than he ever had. Was Adam alone? No. Was he afraid? Yes.
Sully's touch, her arm around him. He smiled and let out a content sigh, his head still buried in his knees. When he felt her head against his he melted into a comfortable state only to scoot absently closer to what he recognized as such. He listened to her words, felt her touch, let his eyes just relax from being strained and filled with such terrible emotion it pulls on the tears of regret that stain his cheeks. He was neither boy nor man, but regardless of such he couldn't very well stand for feeling this weak. But, in the confines of this room, in the arms of someone that cares. He's okay with it strangely enough.
He let himself become lose, relaxed, he was close to snuggling as he could let himself be. Her rubbing touch on his arm soothing, emitted comfort. He liked it, might not be the blood vengeance he needed in his mind, but it was defiantly something that he could learn to want.
"I know I'm not alone," He smiled, lifting his head over so slightly leaning into her, looking blankly ahead of him as if he was examining the road ahead. Trials and tribulations of the world stretched before him, up until the inevitable end. Adam in his mind felt like he could see it all. But right now, on this bed, he was content about not rushing head first into it.
"Thanks." He added, "As for being adjusted, none of us are. We're all broken, in some way, some more than others, different. We sacrifice every broken piece we have, sometimes we don't know why. We help others, we try and help ourselves. No matter how deeply damaged we feel, we try to do better. We may hide being veils of emulated strength, but deep down we're all just... Human."
Adam seemed to be relaxing. Sully was honestly amazed at how touch seemed to affect people. Then again, Adam had a loving mother who took care of him and nurtured him. Maybe that's how touch was meant to be. Caring, soft, supportive, but it had never been that for Sully.
Maybe that was why she felt it needed to be that way for Adam right now. Sully could feel the tension easing out of his muscles. At least she was capable of doing something right.
"Yeah," Sully sighed into his hair. "We're all human." She didn't bother adding that maybe she had a little something extra in her arsenal. Adam had enough shocks and surprises for one night.
Sully wasn't sure what to say after that, so she just sat there with him, holding him. For the moment he seemed to be enough for him. While awkward for Sully, at least she could do something to ease his pain. If only a little and if only for a little while.
There was a knock on the door and distinct voice announcing that it was pizza.
"I'll be right back." She smiled at Adam before getting up and pulling her gun out of the waistband of her jeans. It would be stupid not to be careful especially considering the predicament Adam was in.
Sully looked through the peep hole of the door, seeing that it was in fact the pizza guy. She pulled out some cash, and opened the door. She gave the guy double what the pie and beer were worth, before taking them from his hand.
The guy never got a word in edge wise before she closed the door in his face and turned to look at Adam with a small smile. The aroma of pizza quickly filled up the small room. Her stomach growled anxiously for the food.
"So, do you happen to be hungry yet?" Walking over she placed the pizza and beer on the small table, flipping the lid open. "You really should eat something." She grabbed a slice. "We're both going to need our energy to get through this."
